For Codependentschat Support Leaders/Group Members:
Group General Guidelines (click underlined to view our posted guidelines)

Through our Codependentschat online resources, common themes are addressed, new connections are formed; mutual support promotes healing and fosters personal growth.

What We Don’t Know and What We Can’t Promise

Unfortunately, it is not unusual for people with addictive problems to find themselves feeling and being uncomfortably socially isolated. The chances of being socially isolated are even greater for people who have addictive problems (especially involving substances) plus serious mental health problems, such as major depression, chronic "low-grade" depression (i.e. dysthymia), the bipolar disorders, panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder... among others. When we get a hint that a participant may have been diagnosed by a health-care professional with any mental health problem—for example when the person mentions that a physician prescribed a psychotropic medication like an antidepressant—there are some things Codependentschat volunteer leaders and peer-participants might want to keep in mind about health concerns and social concerns.

HEALTH CONCERNS—What to Do about What We Don’t Know

1. Do not take any position as to whether the physician’s diagnosis or treatment prescription may be correct or incorrect; too much missing information! And we as Codependentschat volunteer leaders and peer-participants are not in a position to diagnose, to confirm or disconfirm any diagnosis, or to evaluate any reported professional treatment or advice. Even if the Codependentschat volunteer leader(s) and/or peer-participant(s) is a health care professional, the Codependentschat volunteer leaders/peer-participants online meeting/message board relationship is not a professional one and should not be treated as such.

2. When a participant mentions that they are disregarding or not following medical advice, the Codependentschat volunteer leaders/peer-participant might suggest that they re-visit that decision in a rational way. For some people, and we as group volunteers can never know to whom this applies, disregarding a physician’s advice that they take an antidepressant (or other medication) could have very serious and harmful results. We cannot know whether or not an individual’s addictive behaviors might be related to self-medicating for symptoms of a true mental health or other disorder. A wide variety of illnesses can cause severe depression or anxiety. Almost always, alcohol and other drug abuse or other addictive/compulsive behaviors are poor & dangerous substitutes for physician-guided use of antidepressants or other medications. When a participant brings this up within our Codependentschat online support group, we can at least let them know that disregarding physician or other professional advice is a big decision worth thinking through rationally, or even getting a second or third professional opinion. (Repeat: it’s a BIG decision, not a BAD or WRONG decision!)

Recovery is not about behaving perfectly or according to anyone else's rules. More than anything else, recovery is about knowing we have choices and giving ourselves the freedom to choose.

12 Step Overview (click underlined to view more about recovery meetings)

SOCIAL CONCERNS—What to Do about What We Can’t Promise

1. The Codependentschat network of resources offers many sources of social support, however, there are limits to the social support Codependentschat volunteers/facilitators can ‘promise’ or offer to participants. Even individuals who maximize their use of the Codependentschat resources ultimately will realize that successful change and lifestyle balance require learning and practicing many skills "Out There" -- in their every-day, "off-line" or "outside-the-Codependentschat support group" world. Just as it is important to practice urge-resistance skills in "real-life" situations, it is important to practice social skills and emotional management of self in relationships outside the Codependentschat network. Codependentschat never promises or implies that success can happen without practice!

2. When a participant indicates that they believe they need MORE social support than is available through existing Codependentschat meetings and message board resources - - they are probably right. Rather than offering them extra email, phone, or other social contact, we might encourage them to brainstorm with the group (and/or own their own) about other ways that they might build up their social support network. Reducing social isolation in their everyday, "real" world is likely to be a challenging but reasonable, important, and achievable goal for many of our participants. In most cases, we serve our participants better by helping them take practical steps toward this goal than by trying to provide them directly with more social support.

3. If a participant continually comes across as somewhat "desperate" for interpersonal contact or social support beyond that already provided by Codependentschat, it makes sense to see this as a "red flag." The wise group volunteer facilitator/peer-participant will validate a participant’s own perception that it may be in their best interest to add something to their use of available Codependentschat resources.

Options to consider in brainstorming with such a participant include:

a. Seeking professional guidance for development of social skills.

b. Seeking psychological or mental health counseling.

c. Doing volunteer work in a social setting.

d. Becoming involved with community groups that are oriented to a hobby, sport, community service interest -- or a political, musical, religious/spiritual, or other interest that is personally meaningful.

e. Re-evaluating job or housing situation.

f. Making specific efforts to enhance participation in family or friendship relationships.

g. Getting professional help with those relationships.

h. Arranging for medical detox.

i. Seeking medical or psychiatric evaluation and services, outpatient or inpatient.

j. Going to a hospital emergency room.

When a participant expresses feelings of "urgency," brainstorming these types of options with them is much safer (and more realistic) than trying to meet their needs through offering out-of-the-ordinary online or face-to-face contact. Codependentschat volunteer leaders and peer-participants cannot provide emergency or critical care, but we can point the way to possible sources of such care. We can help participants to identify options they might not have considered and to learn effective methods for weighing various options as they begin trying out new behaviors, selecting choices, and making decisions. Recovering is a process that mostly happens in "real" life… outside the Codependentschat meeting room and other online resources.

Suicide Support: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/spagebw.htm

Balance takes Effort

•What is one person's "joke" is another’s "slander"....and visa versa!

•Who are we to judge which is right?

•Promote Personal Responsibility and Choice!

•Promote Tolerance, Promote Acceptance, Promote Respect!

• Codependentschat nor its representatives pre-screen any messages posted to our group message boards.

•All posts made are the opinions and views of the author and not necessarily those of Codependentschat or its representatives. We are not responsible for the veracity or validity of any information posted here, nor do we vouch for the authenticity of any of the authors.

•Codependentschat and its representatives will not be held liable for any information or message posted to our group message boards and disclaim all liability resulting from any action or inaction taken as a result of reading or posting a message on any of our group message boards.

SUPPORT SELF-DETERMINATION OF PARTICIPANTS:
We respect and promote the right of participants to socially be responsible for themselves

NOTE: This is a privately user-created MSN Group oriented for codependents or people interested about codependency. This site is not endorsed by CoDA, AA, NA, or any other 12-step recovery program but is guided by their principles. Our Codependentschat support group is operated by non-paid volunteers who are working their own 12-step programs.

We do not say that participating in our online support group is all that you will need to do if you wish to truly recover. We suggest your meeting with medical and mental professionals as well as attending local support groups in your area. We will be here (on-line) for YOU to share our stories and to listen to yours - - but we do not replace the need for professional counseling/medical care.

FYI: The group conscience =    Send E-Mail to Managers  
(to volunteer your services in group meetings/to offer suggestions to current group challenges)

Ask ?'s HERE ("general" group questions)  / Newcomer’s Handbook (CoDA Book)