I met an old friend just recently.
A true and loyal friend,from years before
An animal lover just like me.
Sean! how are you? Is all well with you.
Ti's Boyo, sure tis indeed. with only minor ebb and flow
My chum come's from Old Erin's Isle, with it's forty shades of green.
So talks a little different from me you see.
He tell's me theres actually shade's numbering forty one,
As American dollars are so popular there, though hardly free.
How's the little wife I ask? and the ten, wee children.
Ah! and sure bejasus, they are brillant don't you know.
Each growing like a weed, eating us out of house and home.
Sure enough he had strapped to his back, a tent ,
which by circumstance, quantum physics and nylon strap, was forced to follow where ever he chose to go.
A most truthful fellow was he, no lie would ever pass his lip's.
I beg you do not divulge this secret to him, if you chance to meet,
But t'was this annoying lack of prevarication which caused us both to part.A truthful man makes a poor drinking Buddy
My dear comrade says I. I feel so sad to see you with such a flimsy house
on shoulder and all alone.
Yet slyly I had to smile, for he
wore both Winter and Summer wardrobe's, on rake thin bones,while the other season's, in suitcase neatly he had folded.
Have you experience some tragedy that has laid you so low?
Eagerly I anticipated the juicy story that surely would flow, all full of sorrow and of woe.
But.this was the story that unfolded.Oh, the Horror the horror!
"No tragedy, nor bad luck has brought me to this unfortunate state,but one of my own foolish
constructing.
So poor I be, I canna remember when last my gums and tongue did any eating
Frustrated, and with perhaps a dawning fear. a certain snap of tone to my inflection I barked.
Come now man
tell me what has occoured to bring you to this fate.
Sighing deeply, this tale he told.
"You remember when last we spoke for the youngest daughter a wee kitten, I aquirred, a tiny little scrap of fur and nail,
If it weighed eight ounce's soaking wet,sack and all, I would be suprised.
I swear. I never saw a sorrier scrap.
Now the critter cheekly commence's itself to grow,and
before the year was out, did tip the scale's at
fightin weight.
I paid for vet visits and cat toys galore, if I turned around sure
it was wanting more.
Succulent beef, bright salmon and fresh rabbit, delacies that I was never served, each night appeared upon his plate.
Bathed and pampered, with his very own palitial bed,
a sprig of catnip each night laid on pillow by his head"
You know me as a generous man Mick, but glory me that cat
was treated better than his Holiness the Pope.
Aye! but there's the rub, no celibate priest, this furry chap, his collar black leather! not starched white cloth.
Many a concubine he soon aquired. I felt just like the procurer of the randy devil.
Well you must surely guess the rest,nine week's the first litter appeared. From there, fast upon it's heels came rapidly many more.
I found good home's for the first fifty two, or so
but err long each neighbour crossed the street and
spoke to me no more,
In panic they would be compelled
to accept a furry kit to add to the other three or four.
I just left the auld Sod Mike and fear it will see my face no more.
You see there's a wanted notice on my life.
Murder is the charge! I could not remove the
randy rascals cathood so Iv'e become a hunted man
To my everlasting shame,I have caused the demise of a thousand kitten's, maybe more.
The wife she's left me and taken the kids and kats,
now lives in Ballybunion surrounded by the klan
looking always for a braver man.
His voice now breaking with tears freely flowing, the tragic tale went on.
A man who can face the knife, and have the spunk to take that bloody cat to meet the Vet.
I ask you Mick could you do that to any bloke?
Its just not right to snip away the little source of pleasure
that make this life just bearable, come on man tell me you know the score.
With teary eye I looked upon my friend, then turning
I showed him my back.
The lettering was large on the sign I carried.
It was easy to read.being done in Hue's neon bright.
It read,Vetinary service's we provide.
Be a good owner Spay and Neuter your furry friends.
Be brave you can do it, or in the end
you will lose much more than you hope to gain.
It pays to Spay! be a friend,to cats and dogs or someday your name,
on file, at the local Animal Activist's website.will flash in ruby shame.
It may be difficult and cause you pain but it's right for you
and that bloody crafty furry fiend.
Come my brother in disaster, away to the pub we will go,
to drown our sorrow's in liquid gold.
For you see
I once like you,
loved not wisely, nor to well,
I too played the coward and could not face the unkindest cut of all.
For kitty or myself. 2,000 kittens from the cat allowed to be a Tom.
Twelve children from the woebegone macho man
Copywright ©2003 T.M.C
