I know that when we are in love it's difficult to let go.  I also know people that have buried a child and they tell me that's difficult as well so what's scarier to you.....being alone or a little white coffin?  Where crack is concerned this can and does happen everyday of the week.

 

There are women on this board supporting children alone, no child support, no help from the father, some women on this board are supporting 4 children alone and I know they don't have a dime to their name but they are doing it because they want their children to grow up whole and safe.  Sure it's scary as hell and overwhelming doesn't really describe it but it's possible and people on this board are doing it everyday of the week.

 

If you're lucky enough to be graced with the gift of mother hood, don't take it for granted because it can change in an instant.  Even if your child walks away from the addict in their life with no physical scars whatsoever....do you realize that all the time they spent with the addict changed who they are?  Do you realize that as tough as it is for us grownups emotionally and mentally to live with an addict what a child must deal with?  We have the emotional tools to deal with disappointment but our children do not and every day that they watch their parents use or argue due to their use is another wound they don't know how to heal.

 

Why is this happening to so many children because the adults aren't standing up and protecting their children like they have a moral and legal obligation to do.  "but I love him" is usually what someone says and my question is are you living soley for yourself here or do your children enter in?  Do you think you're doing the children a favor by keeping their sick family entact?  You aren't, you're helping them to be hurt everyday. 

 

I did this.  I stayed because I loved him, because he's my son father's, because he's my husband but there was one reason to leave him the entire while and I ignored it, our son.  Our son was being damaged on a daily basis because Mommy didn't have the sense to protect him from a criminal.  We can call them fathers and mothers all we like but would you leave your child in a drug alley with a stanger?  Fact is everytime we run up for gas and leave them with an addicted parent, we're doing the same damn thing and it is devastating to our children.  I'm still finding out about things my ex husband did to our son and my son hasn't see his dad in 3 years, we've been divorced 5 years now. 

 

I hurt my son because I didn't protect him.  I can blame his father all I like but I was the grown up not on drugs and I knew better and I didn't act in time and because of that I changed my son.  My son has a lot of issues due to the father/son time he spent and these are things that hurt him daily.  He's not a happy kid, he's broken.  We work everyday to fix that but the fact remains that if I had a backbone and used my brain, he wouldn't be hurt near as badly and that is a regret I will have to live with forever.

 

Stop worrying about your own heart because trust me when I tell you that once you see your child hurt, your own heart is broken forever anyway.  Worry about the little people you swore to protect from the minute they were born.  They have to be safe, they can't grow up normal and be a success if they aren't and that's if they get to grow up at all.  The last night I spent with my husband this non-violent man I loved tried to slice my throat with our 4 year old begging for my life.  What if he had turned on our son?  Could I really blame the out of control addict or myself for allowing my son to be in harms way in the first place. 

 

A drug addict is not only a stranger but a criminal, do not let your children be around them.

 

Kris : )