WAYNE'S DICTIONARY OF PAN TERMS 
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BEFORE THE BOAT SAILS: The habit of Getting your pay melds down before someone goes out. If it said early in the round it is likely that the boat hasn't left the dock yet.
FLAT: 10 cards that are melded -- need one more to go out. In Pan, Flat does not pay anything.
IN MY HAIR: The person in front of you has the same cards you need which annoys you to no end.
KEPALA: The Part of the Pan player that does the least amount of work -- The Head.
KISHKA CARD: A Card that is needed to go out and is usually in the center of a Run. Its a "Guts" Card.
KVETCH: To constantly complain about something -- Its like breathing to A Pan Player.
LAVENZESTER: A Blessing given to a sneezing Pan Player. When translated from the Yiddish it means: "May God shine on your Pointed Little Head."
PAN GOD: The Pagan God of All Pan Players -- Usually takes Tuesdays and Thursdays off to play Pan.
PECKERED: You had money in your hand that you were not able to get down because some other person went out.
PLAYS EVERY HAND: Usually the person who sits in front of you and catches all the cards you need. Not only is She in your hair, but she should be slapped.
PLOW: Someone who catches all the cards in front of the player who needs them. Like a magnet this person is in the other person's hair.
PISSER: A hand that goes out for 2 chips only. Also known as a quickie.
PROSTITUTE HAND: A Hand that has 3 melds that are Money Conditions. "Every Lay is A Pay"
MAVEN: A know it all Pan Player...usually a woman and mostly old and overweight. Occasionally there are some men who are mavens -- they are usually called other things.
MAZELTOV: A happy expletive when someone puts out a hand -- usually in desperation.
MESHUGANA: A Crazy Pan Player -- To Find one who isn't is a rarity.
OLE or ALE: Said by Certain Pan players when they are Flat and feel that this ritual will cause them to put out the hand.
PLAITSA: The part of a Pan Player that always hurts -- The Back.
SCHMUCKALOVITZ: A loveable idiotic Pan Player.
SVRITZING: Those who request to have the air conditioning turned on.
SHOE STORE: A Hand that has many pairs in it. If the pairs are money cards, the shoes are said to be expensive.
SMOKER or COMOUQUER: A Card that isn't able to meld two other cards. For example: You have a 3 hearts and 3 Spades and you pick a 3 spades and you say: "The card smokes me...."
TOUCHAS: The Best and sturdiest part of a Pan Player -- The Ass.
TURN UP THE AIR: The common expletive of all hot Pan Players. Usually said by those people who are svritzing.
YARBOROUGH: A hand that has one card of each rank. The hand is useless and must be thrown away. It is customary to kiss the Dealer if he is not smoking a Cigar.
