What is the Conservative position on sexual relations, and the laws of Taharat HaMishpachah (Family Purity) ?
In "A Guide to Jewish Religious Practice", Rabbi Issac Klein writes: "Modern man is heir to two conflicting traditions neither of which is Jewish: On the one hand, [we have] the rebirth of the old paganism which found its extreme expression in the sacred prostitutes of Canaan...and on the other hand, the Christian reaction to the excesses of paganism...sex became identified with original sin, and celibacy was regarded as the ideal form of life. Modern man, while opting for pagan libertinism, also suffers a guilty conscience because of his Christian heritage....Judaism is free of both extremes. It rejects the espousal of uncontrolled sexual expression that paganism preaches, and also Christianity's claim that all sexual activity is inherently evil. Jewish marriage is based on a healthy sexual viewpoint that rejects the two extremist principals, and so are the regulations governing the conjugal relations between husband and wife, taharat hamishpacha, the purity of family life."
The Rabbinical Assembly has published a pastoral letter on all aspects of human sexuality, "This Is My Beloved, This Is My Friend: A Rabbinic Letter on Intimate Relations". Topics include sex within marriage; having children; infertility; divorce; adultery; incest; single parenthood; non-marital sex; contraception; homosexuality; and the laws of family purity (taharat hamishpacha). This booklet is available from the United Synagogue Book Service (booksvc@uscj.org).
This brings us to perhaps the most misunderstood aspect of Jewish law, toharat ha'mishpach, family purity. These rules inform us that a women enters the state of "tameh" when she is "niddah" (menstruating). During this time the couple must refrain from all physical contact, especially sexual relations. After the cessation of her menstrual flow, the women counts seven days before immersing herself in a mikva, at which time sexual relations between man and wife can then continue.
The words "tahor" and "tameh" are used in these laws, but in popular practice they are often poorly translated. Translating them as "clean" and "unclean" (or "pure" and "impure") is erroneous. These terms actually have nothing to do with physical cleanliness. Rather, they describe a state of ritual applicability in regards to fulfilling certain mitzvot, such as those associated with the Temple in Jerusalem, the cultic function of Kohanim (priests), or sexual relations within in a Jewish marriage. Thus, Tahor and Taharah actually mean "ritually pure" and Tamae and Tumah mean "ritually impure".
For more details, see Isaac Klein's "A Guide to Jewish Religious Practice", and Michael Gold's "Does God Belong in the Bedroom".
The extra period of seven days is controversial within the Conservative community. It was initially presented as a custom of the pious, and seems to have stemmed from the confusion of a few halakhists over the normal length of time of women's menstrual cycles. Some have proposed that contradictory statements in the Talmud and the works of Nahmanides and Maimonides led to a situation whereby the extra 7 days of waiting became mandatory. This longer waiting period is in direct contradiction to other Mishnaic and Talmudic statements. While the movement has not yet issued an official ruling on this, some American Conservative Jews have ruled that the extra days are no longer mandatory. These include Rabbis Joel Roth, Michael Gold, Susan Grossman and JTS Talmud Professor David C. Kraemer.
See especially Prof. Kraemer's paper "A Developmental Perspective on the Laws of Niddah", Conservative Judaism, Vol.38(3), Spring 1986, p.26-33
A Developmental Perspective on the Laws of Niddah
Although observance of Jewish law in many areas has been on the upswing in the Conservative community, observance of the laws of family purity is low. There are many reasons for this: Parents are loathe to discuss the subject with their children, and Hebrew Schools usually deal with children between the ages of 8 and 13, and almost always neglect this subject. Further, most American Jews are not aware of the rationale behind these laws, and think that they imply that woman are somehow "dirty" (which is incorrect.)
