Cyberbullies

Cyberbullying has become a major problem on the internet.  It is something that is not understood by many people until they actually come face-to-face with it.  Because bullying on the internet tends to be more psychological than physical, many people are apt to dismiss it out of hand.  "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" does not apply here.  Words are the very medium of the internet and they can be used with devastating effect.

It is not limited to children bullying children, either.  Many adults have become victims of cyberbullies as well.  They're bewildered to find themselves singled out and treated differently from other people in their online group.  They find their posts being ignored, marginalized or overruled on a constant basis.  They'll find that things they say are being twisted or distorted.  Their reputation gets trashed.  Often it doesn't help to quit a group, chat or forum and walk away from the situation.  The bullies will often follow them online from forum to forum, group to group, chat to chat.

It doesn't take much to become the victim of a cyberbully.  For children, the bullying often starts on the playground and is taken online.  For adults, the bullying often starts online, usually with an innocent remark that is taken the wrong way.  As internet users, our communication with each other is truncated because it is limited to the written word, and possibly a few emoticons.  Sometimes someone is perceived as a cyberbully when a remark is take out of context.  Then a flame war results. 

Either way it starts, cyberbullying can morph easily into cyberstalking and even stalking in the real world.  It may get to the point where third parties are required to become involved.  Legal intervention may also become necessary.

Even if it doesn't get that far, the bullying can have devastating effects on it's victims.  They'll manifest physical symptoms such as tension headaches, migraines, sleeplessness, and nightmares.  They'll suffer from stress, irritability, poor concentration, and depression.  Cyberbullying can shatter a person's self-confidence and lower their self-esteem.  In the long term, it may result in the victim requiring physical and/or mental health care.

Why do Cyberbullies Attack?

Boiled down to it's essence, bullying is about power.  A cyberbully wants to put their victim in distress.  Therefore the bully will embark upon a series of repeated, intentionally cruel actions against the victim.  Their intent is to hurt or humiliate the victim.  Reacting to the bully only serves to confirm their feeling of power.  Their online mission has succeeded in their own minds.

Many cyberbullies work to convince their online peers to exclude or reject a victim.  Their mission is to cut the victim off from their social connections.  The bully may even believe that they are doing the members of their group or chat room a favour by getting rid of the victim.  Once the person leaves or is "banished" from the group, this serves to confirm the cyberbully's sense of power.

The internet tends to provide people with a false sense of security.  Thus it makes it easier for people to do things they think they can "get away with."  People will say things online that they would never say to another person face-to-face.  They have a sense of being removed from their actions and the people they are tormenting.

Bullies bully because they can.  They've gotten away with that type of behaviour in the pas and so they keep repeating it.  Unfortunately many victims never speak up.  Many other people are also afraid to speak against the bully.  They are afraid that if they do, that will put them in the cyberbully's radar and they will be the next person to be victimized.  This reinforces the bully's belief that they are untouchable.

How to Deal with Internet Bullies

Usually the best response is no response at all.  If you react with anger, then the bully wins the round.  If you react at all, the bully wins - they want the attention.  Ignore them long enough, quietly remove their posting from the message boards (if possible) and then the bully will do either one of two things:

1. They'll get bored and eventually go away.
2. They'll increase their efforts to get your attention.  Hopefully they'll get to the point where they do something so colossally stupid that you can report to their ISP and get them kicked off the internet.

Don't post a long, dramatic good-bye message to your internet friends.  That is blatantly telling the cyberbully that they've won.  You validate their actions and make them feel like they can get away with more of the same behaviours.

Document every action against you.  Create a private space online that exists solely for the purpose of collecting their mean-spirited posts, insults, slander, etc.  If need be, you then have evidence to back you up should you have to go legal on them.

If you run a message board and see a cyberbully victimizing someone on your boards, don't let the message stay on the boards.  If necessary,  moderate the cyberbully so they know they are being watched and documented.

The Law and Cyberbullies

Different parts of the world have different methods for dealing with cyberbullies.  As with many internet crimes, it sometimes takes the law a while to catch up with internet society.  Unfortunately in many instances it is difficult to get law enforcement officials and ISPs to take cases of cyberbullying seriously.  You may have to use existing laws creatively to get the action you need taken against internet bullies. 

In Canada it is a crime to communicate repeatedly with someone if your correspondence causes them to fear for their own safety and the safety of others.  Many other countries and ISPs do take communicated threats very seriously.  In one instance that I know of personally, a person threatened to send someone's computer a virus and then followed through on it.  Even though the incident happened across international borders, the bully's connection to the internet was terminated by their ISP.

In many places it is also a crime to publish defamatory libel.  In Canada, that means publishing anything (this includes posts on message boards) without lawful justification or excuse that is intended to insult a person or damage their reputation by exposing them to hatred, contempt or ridicule.  A defamatory libel may be expressed directly or by insinuation or irony.

A cyberbully may also be committing a Human Rights violation if their bullying spreads hate or discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, age sex, sexual orientation, marital status, family status or disability.