| Mario Kart set to make your life complete
http://mariokart.com/mkds/prelaunch/index.html
Way better than our usual three paragraphs of shite.
Posted by Yasar on 28/10/05 at 13:37
Incredible tales of debauchery/videogame news
In a recent press interview, Square-Enix has announced that the next installment of the Mana series, 'Children of Mana', will be developed by obscure developer Nex Entertainment. Reasons cited for the move include the claim that they have 'an extensive knowledge of the Mana series', which basically sums up to them having a fat Japanese guy who could actually sit through the GBA titles. The news comes as a great relief to popular Nintendo character Mario, who is looking for new members to join his 'Abused By Shitty Third Party Teams Club'. Extensive playing of Mario Pinball is said to be on the agenda.
On the topic of famous Japanese developing teams, Konami has recently confirmed that legendary game designer Hideo Kojima has jumped aboard the Revolution ship, and is currently locked in heavy sword duels over the last bucket of prawn sandwhiches. The statement reads: "Despite these [3rd party support] concerns, developers we talked to at TGS were very positive about the new controller, and Metal Gear creator Hideo Kojima is already working on a project for Revolution, being done by the Metal Gear Acid team. Work will begin as soon as he has finished making a shitty card game for the PSP or whatever."
Moving on, the Entertainment Software Association has released information from several amount of studies, with the focal point of it being an attempt to support the view that in-game violence does not have an influence on further aggressive behaviour. ESA are quoted to have said, "A longitudinal study of an online violent video game with a control group tested for changes in aggressive cognitions and behaviours. The findings did not support the assertion that a violent game will cause substantial increases in real-world aggression". The news should provide as yet another backlash against the Jack Thompson saga, and indeed, our very own Samuel took time out from his busy schedule of car jacking and woman pimping to tell us that "GTA 3 totally didn't have any sort of negative effect on my life." We wish him good luck in jumping on random strangers' heads in an attempt to gain an 'extra life'.
Posted by Yasar on 26/10/05 at 14:24 Nintendo drop bombshell. WNN finally fucking get round to talking about it.
 After several months of waiting, and many many shitty hoax images, Nintendo have finally revealed the new Nintendo Revolution controller. Initial thoughts include: "w0ah, u'll b abl 2 swng it in z3Lda jst lke a REAL swrd!", which isn't innovative or clever at all, shut the fuck up you retards. Other smart asses are said to have pointed out the fact that your average overweight Nintendo fan will likely have a heart attack, what with all the moving of the remote and shit. It is worth pointing out that these people will actually have some level of fitness, of sorts. Someone out there has to masturbate to Nintendo hentai.
In other news, Nintendo has decided to push back the release of Zelda: Twilight Princess to 2006, giving Eric just about enough time to get off his sofa and make his way to the games store. Rockie is also considering leaving her chair to purchase a copy. Paramedics are on alert.
Ending this update, news has reached WNN ears that President George Bush has proclaimed that he takes orders from God. Perhaps his almighty might be kind enough to bless him with a brain, or even, perhaps, warn him of potential hurricaine attacks next time they get in touch. Just a thought.
Posted by Yasar on 24/10/05 at 14:21 New Mailbag posted; Aurel_Lazar_jr, duffybomb and Entropy cheer.
You can read that sheez here, biznitch. No... it doesn't matter who talks like that, it isn't funny.
Posted by Eric on 14/05/05 at 5:03 PST
DS goes wireless online! Animal Crossing to create peace throughout warring nations.
Nintendo recently announced that the DS will be able to go online (yay!) through a service provided by IGN (boo). Just get yerself in range of a wireless router at home, a local coffeeshop, or porn theater and "with minimum setup procedures" you get to play pretty much anyone anywhere. This will facilitate my kicking Yasar's ass at Mario Kart, which I am all for. Nintendo's games (like Animal Crossing) will be free, but third parties can charge if they want. They also announced that the DS will be able to connect with the Revolution wirelessly. No date given for the "online" service as of yet, but more information will most likely be available at E3.
Posted by Jordan on 10/05/05 at 9.36 pst Welcome to Funcoland Software Etc Gamestop Electronics Boutique EBX reserve your copy of Madden now or face the wrath of our ZOMBIE ARMY!
Gamestop bought out Electronics Boutique! Or merged! Or something! These are the two biggest video game retailers in the US. Anyways, now neither chain has any competition, game trade-in values are likely to drop, and that shit-rag Game Informer will spread faster than genital herpes at Yasar's school. Are either of these stores even IN the UK anywhere?
Posted by Jordan on 18/04/05 at 23.59 pst |
Important Announcement
